One mystery that was left to solve the other weekend was who drew up the shortlist for Britain’s Favourite Detective? As I was watching it I was trying to list in my head who had been missed out. I put Inspector Clouseau on the case but the little minkey did not get back to me so I will have to investigate myself. Difficult when you don’t know the criteria. I wouldn’t argue with Sherlock Holmes being the winner, although I have a feeling that this was voted for more on the back of the recent Sherlock rather than Jeremy Brett’s brooding portrayal in the 80’s and 90’s which at the time was hailed as one of the best.

How did one get in the list though? Do you actually have to be a police detective? No, obviously not, otherwise Miss Marple, Jessica Fletcher and Jonathan Creek would not be included. Then I thought it might just be those who solved murders but AC12 in Line of Duty tackle police corruption and Magnum could get involved in anything.

That being the case, what happened to mentions for series like The Sweeney, Death in Paradise, Life on Mars (and/or Ashes to Ashes), The Saint, Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased), The Persuaders, The Professionals, Father Brown, New Tricks, Cadfael, Partners in Crime, Adam Dalgliesh who was the detective in numerous P D James mysteries and Dempsey and Makepeace. OK, The Saint and The Persuaders were more adventurers than sleuths but the others surely should get a mention. I found it strange that Cagney and Lacey were in but Starsky and Hutch missing.

As it happens, I am watching Dempsey and Makepeace at the moment, on a little known channel called Forces TV and a comment was made a few nights ago by the announcer that in its first run (1984) it attracted an audience of 20 million. UK TV has gone downhill a long way since the 70’s and 80’s as regards content. In those days, take 7pm to 10 pm of an evening and on average soaps and documentaries had about 2 hours a week. Coronation Street Monday and Wednesday 7.30 to 8.00 pm and World in Action Monday 8.30 pm to 9.00 pm and something like TV Eye Thursday 8.30 to 9.00 pm.  Now most of the viewing week is taken up with soaps, factual programmes and reality shows. No wonder so many actors are writing books these days and taking up all the literary agents.

In those times cooking was catered for by the Galloping Gourmet at about 1.30 pm. Come Dancing was an older persons’ programme on after the late news. Emmerdale Farm was also daytime TV and reality TV just a pipe nightmare. Most programmes then actually needed actors and writers. It is saying something that people now would rather watch other people watching the Gogglebox. And anyone who just lists their occupation as a celebrity needs to go out and find a real job – whatever county you live in.

This decline in UK TV started in the 90’s and if only Sam Becket could Quantum Leap back and stop Driving School and The Cruise ever being made. Cheap TV it was then and still is. One man and his camcorder I used to call it and over the years it has dumbed down the audience to accept it. Never will I watch programmes like When Gerbils Attack or The World’s Greatest Parking Tickets.

Out of the 25 detective shows that got listed there was only one I hadn’t watched – The Bridge. These days I have to trawl Sky One, Sky Witness, Alibi, Fox and the like to find something to watch. The best thing ITV have done in the last few years is when they ran Lethal Weapon at 9.00 pm on a Friday night for three series (although the last one got pushed later half way through because Riggs had departed). TV like it used to be.

It would take the greatest detective under the sun to work out why as a nation we have come to accept such rubbish on our screens.

And just for the record, of the 25 Britain’s Favourite Detectives as stated on TV, my top three would have been Sherlock Holmes, Magnum and Jonathan Creek.