Freak out time. Another birthday is looming and it is a scary zero one. There are many people that do not like the aging process but for me it is really painful. Every year I find it so and especially so every ten years. I cannot identify with the number and it freaks me out to even think about it. Without going into circumstances, my inner self has been in stasis since I was about 25 – waiting for something to happen that never did. Consequently, I don’t reconcile with my body age and am a much younger person trapped in an older body.
I have not had a life really, just an existence. In life, there should be a balance of good times and bad. For the life of me I cannot remember any good times. The seesaw is permanently weighed down on the bad side, especially in the last ten years – high blood pressure, arteriosclerosis and permanent back trouble.
What have I to show for it all? I have no wife, no kids and I live in small one bedroom flat that is smaller than the first flat I ever owned at age – yes you guessed it, 25. I am reasonably good at my job but that’s about it. The only other thing I have to show for my life is the stuff I have written.
That being the case, I have brought it all together in one volume. A writing timeline from the first dodgy novel up to the last thing I published being my children’s book ‘Once Upon A Week’. It is all there in chronological order, so hopefully one can see the progression from raw writer to adequate writer. The background and reviews are in there too. ‘The Whole in One’ launches on Monday on Amazon – something else to get lost in the jungle.
In other news, my website has been having a makeover. It is not quite ready yet because some of the links are not working but at least visitors can get to me books easier.
This has been my first post for a while and who knows when I will be out of the birthday black hole, so it may be the last one for another while too. So have a nice Easter.