WORD UP!

Have you ever wondered how words get added to the dictionary? Who decides to add them and when? These questions briefly came to mind during ‘Pointless’ in a round on words added to the dictonary in 2019. I think it was the Oxford English Dictionary but don’t quote me on that bit.

There were five words on the board and to say I was surprised was like saying a first time golfer is suprised sinking a hole in one on the first tee – when using a putter by mistake. I was actually gobsmacked.

Yes ‘Chillax’ I could understand – a recent word and one that I would never use myself – but two of the other words I could not understand why they were only being added in 2019.

Now, when I was a kid my favourite programme was ‘Scooby Doo’ – the fact that I still watch it now and actually have ‘Scooby Doo Where Are You?’ on DVD is immaterial. There was a series of movies which were split over two weeks. In these the Scooby Gang – were they actually called the Scooby Gang before Buffy and her friends became the Scooby Gang? – met famous characters like Batman and Robin, the Addams Family and the Harlem Globetrotters. Yes, the Harlem Globetrotters, who for those who don’t know, were the best dribblers around, until ‘Spitting Image’s’ Roy Hattersley that is. They were a showcase team and I am sure they did more than one slam-dunk on their travels.

Yes! This was one of the words added in 2019. ‘Slam-dunk’. Scooby met the Harlem Globetrotters in the 70’s and they were already famous by then. Not that it is a word synonymous with just them but basketball in general.

Want to know what the other word was? I don’t think I need to tell you. Reach out with your feelings, look, use the Force. ‘Lightsabre’ – note the spelling. Now we know this noble weapon was first seen in 1977 so it took 42 years of constant use to get into the dictionary.

As a writer – allegedly – this just seemed ludicrous [Insert your subliminal message here: Buy my books! Buy my books! Please buy my books!] and so another spectacularly unread blog entry is born.

Of course, thinking about the dictionary always brings to mind that ‘Blackadder’ episode with Robbie Coltrane as Samuel Johnson and it is totally coincidental (or is it) that this brings me neatly to the word I thought I had created. Consider the following sentence.

“As wet as a wet fish that has just been awarded the Wettest Fish of the Year Award during a monsoon.”

That is what I like to call a ‘Blackadderism’ and I was positive I made that word up. The above sentence actually comes from Chapter 1, in fact Page 1, of Trouble Cross or if you prefer the shorter version – please do, no one has yet, start a fashion – Pratt, Pratt, Wally and Pratt Investigate, and was written down in February 1996. I actually used the word ‘Blackadderism’ in Chapter 11.

If you Google it now it will come up in a number of references to that show but did I get there first? We will never know. Is it in the dictionary? Well it’s not in Cambridge or Webster’s but the OED is a closed book to me online. However, how about one last one for the road.

“And trouble was the last thing I needed; I had more than enough already. I was attracting it better than Wyatt A. Lottatroubles, the Trouble Magnet Supreme of the Trouble Annual Fair, Troublesville, County Trouble.”

Oops! They call me Honest John, or they would if my name was John, but I told a lie – it’s two for the road. Rewind my latest novel – but not last as I am working on one at the moment – is a different genre and style to Trouble Cross but it too has a Blackadderism. Voila!

“I had to tread as carefully as a fox in Doc Martens in a hen-house full of insomniac hens owned by a farmer holding the Most Foxes Killed In A Night Award.”

You can’t get too much of a good thing.


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